Trying to find a silver lining
"I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness." Is the quote that currently sits in front of me as I sit in wrap up group. Today I woke up and initially I felt really really sad because I knew I ideally would be getting ready for my pass home. So, I decided I would dress myself up in a cute skirt, a nice sweater and braid my hair. I would act positively and hope it made me feel good. I received a lovely text from my friend who left treatment yesterday and it made me smile, making my morning have a good start. I decided to go to yoga and we did something called yoga nidra which translates directly to yoga sleep and if done correctly it can be as if you got an extra 4 hours of sleep and leave you feeling completely rejuvenated-- which may I add, it did. I got plenty of extra napping time in today, and we did a coping skills group where we made self care calendars. I love the idea, but I have a hard time thinking I will follow through with it. I guess maybe a goal can be to just take it like a grain of salt. Day by day. Week by week. I was able to go on outing today where we went to the river, and I laid in the sun for 30 minutes and read a book. Unfortunately my malnourished body does not always agree with walking and heat so I became very lightheaded and had to sit for a solid 30 minutes when I got back and drink gatorade. I got some more nap time in and now here I am. The thing I did notice today was that my mood did shift a lot. I'm worried that my mood is starting to get unstable again and I am really scared that it's going to start affecting my recovery in a negative way like it did last time. One moment I'm happy and ready, then another I am angry, or down, or frustrated. Again, I will continue to stay positive and choose happiness when I can. Tomorrow is Sunday and I get to go to church and my mom and friends are coming to visit me. I hope everyone's Caturday was swell. Overall rating 6.5/10.